Ever since I can remember, probably once it really (I mean really) "clicked" in my brain that I was different from everyone else, I always thought I'd never date, less become engaged and eventually marry someone.
I always saw these girls in magazines or my peers who were into makeup and fashion and here I was just struggling to look presentable but still comfy. I always saw the girls with bigger boobs, or nicer ass etc got the guys. That was their "dream girl" or so I thought and I thought if that was their dream, then I must be their "nightmare" cause I didn't look like that.
As I got older, I kind of just gave up on guys, I had gotten hurt too many times and wasn't gonna put myself out there to be hurt again; figured I'd be "flying solo" the rest of my life...then after my surgery, I joined an online dating site at my mom's suggestion, and met a boy with Spina bifida. He brought out something in me that relit the fire of wanting love, wanting to be loved and accepted, and I figured if anyone understood my struggles, it'd be someone with a disability also. Sadly, however, that story ended after 3 years, the fire dimmed and was barely sparks anymore and I was constantly nagging him. I didn't want to be a "mom" I Wanted to be a girlfriend.
I put myself back out on the dating sites and got a few "hits" saying "hey beautiful" and my comeback was always 'you must be blind," "are you being sarcastic?," or "you need your eyes or maybe your brain checked out." because I didn't see myself as "beautiful." Then enters this older guy by 6 years or so, the same line of "hey beautiful," my same remarks of doubt, however, he persists and persists and persists; talking every day, wanted to meet publicly. so we did. we began dating October 24, 2017.
we had fun: productions at Opelousas Little Theatre, eating out, playing bowling on Wii or monopoly on the Xbox, taking his niece places, doing a gingerbread house, putting up Christmas village, oh the list could go on and on!
Sure he pesters me and likes to cuddle more than my ex, and I am not used to it and I push him away, but I do love him and like spending time with him, but I wish he'd understand I need my alone time too.
This Christmas he proposed to me! So now we are fiances' It is so weird but wonderful at the same time!!
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Superbowl 2023: So tired of Hypocrisy!
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I am so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. And girl you need more confidence, nothing sexier than that, or so every guy says :) You are beautiful, believe it.
ReplyDeleteAlso can totally relate on the cuddles. When my pain is high I’m like don’t touch me, it’s not you it’s me talk. Lol. He will understand....eventually haha.
he'll learn when i accidently sock him in the mouth, while squirming because the cuddles tickle. lol
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